![]() ![]() ![]() Even that sausage-based scene’s most surreal moment feels like a boardroom-produced piece of calculated zaniness, a prequel to Sausage Party that flirts with being weird but never commits to being fully bonkers. The problem is the whole film feels as factory-produced as the frankfurters that the dogs feast on. Jenny Slate’s little ball of fluff, Gidget, and Kevin Hart’s evil rabbit leave the biggest mark, but the two main characters have almost zero impact, in spite of affable voice work. ![]() Even the characters become difficult to remember, as you cast your mind back into the haze of mediocrity. Chase scene follows chase scene, as the action becomes increasingly meaningless and it’s difficult, once the credits have rolled, to remember one plot or action beat. The lack of weight to the visuals only highlights the utter flimsiness of the story. Both the city and the film look great, but there’s a glossy and soulless shine – the stultifying competence of Pets shows that being technically impressive does not necessarily make for good animation. New York here is brightly coloured, gleaming and unfeasibly clean. The animation is efficient and nicely textured. ![]() There’s not a shred of originality or wit to this film. Then Sellotape this one joke onto the plot of Toy Story (but replace toys with animals) and you have what seems to be the entire planning meeting, production and end result. Remember that joke from Up, where Dug the Dog got easily distracted by squirrels? Well, imagine that one joke stretched out over 87 minutes, far beyond its natural breaking point. Take The Secret Life of Pets as an example. From time to time, you think, “Hey, I could really go for a McDonalds right now.” Afterwards, you leave feeling physically and spiritually empty. Illumination Entertainment, the studio behind Minions, can at times be the McDonalds of animation. Watch The Secret Life of Pets online in the UK: Amazon Prime / Apple TV (iTunes) / Prime Video (Buy/Rent) / TalkTalk TV / Rakuten TV / Google Play Cast: Louis C.K., Eric Stonestreet, Kevin Hart ![]()
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